One-Liners Hiring Managers have seen on Job Applications:
1. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
2. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
3. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
4. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore.
5. Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as ' job-hopping' . I have never quit a job.
6. Marital status: often. Children: various.
7. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
8. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
9. Finished eighth in my class of ten.
10. References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.